Ok, I admit it’s probably not as awe inspiring as King Leonidas’ “Tonight we dine in hell” speech at the Battle of Thermopylae but hey, you work with what you’ve got.
Inspired by the World Cup and an influx of young talent to the Bite UK office, we are revamping our five -a-side football team and I must say, I am pleased with the level of interest, not to mention skill, in our new side. The fact that we finished 2nd in a league comprised mostly of 16 year olds last season is something to be proud of if you ask me (by God, those young whippersnappers could run for hours). So do we have a strategy for success this season? No. Do we have a seasoned Spanish Biter to offer football advice? Nope. But will we go out there anyway and have a good old time? You bet your grandmother’s best china we will. So without further ado, let me introduce the team:
Likely lads; The Bite UK football team show off their impressive silverware
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Mark ‘I can film you if I want cos I’m on the digital team’ Westall: striker and key goal scorer. As deadly on the football pitch as he is with a camcorder.
- Stuart Beckwith aka ‘Beckers’: centre forward. Don’t let those skinny legs fool you, he’ll run circles round you.
- Liam ‘bad omen’ Jacklin: Liam famously joined a match where, despite the fact that we were a man down, were holding the opposition to a 0 – 0 draw. Within two minutes of Liam joining us, the opposition scored twice
- Marco Bilello: Famously played with a debilitating injury because we were a man down and still managed to score a cracking goal. He is the polar opposite of Liam.
- Mat ‘1T’Gazeley: Famous for his powerful shots. I wouldn’t want to be in the opposition’s goal.
- Matt Lambert aka Lambo: The Kiwi enforcer. He sometimes forgets that we aren’t playing rugby and some poor soul pays the price for the mistake of not being on his team.
- Jamie Foote aka the rookie: The latest addition to the Bite team and if he is anything like his Kiwi kin, the opposition is in trouble.
- Matt Wright aka Mr Creative: As our creative consultant, let’s hope he can bring some of that creativity to the team.
- Patrick ‘Clark Kent’ Evenden: Another rookie, eager to prove his worth.
- Titus ‘T-bag’ Thomson: As a Scot, Titus will be channelling William Wallace’s tenacity on the pitch.
- Elijah Lawal aka E-bear: Captain, goalkeeper and devilishly handsome (if you’re drunk and squint really really hard). Elijah will be using his bear-like paws to attempt to limit just how many goals are bound to get past him.
And there it is, the dream team. For Biters, clients or just anyone who wants to come along and cheer for us, you are more than welcome to come on down to Chiswick and show your support. Much like Shakira did in the opening ceremony of the World Cup.
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